Forgiveness

https://makingthisbetter.com/2019/09/05/forgiveness-and-the-betrayed/

'I'll show them.  I'll show them how much they hurt me.  I'll never forgive them...'

When we are hurt, it can be hard to move on.  We linger on the memories, replay the scene over and over.  It gets worse as we cling to the feelings of betrayal.  'They were wrong, I was right, they are at blame...'

What do we get from rehashing all the gory details?  Painting ourselves as a victim?  Are we trying to gain pity from others?  Justify our own inequities by blaming someone else?  'If they hadn't done that, then I wouldn't have to...'

In the end all we get is bitterness, distrust, and anger.  A cycle of pain, possibly even to the next generation!  Is it helping us to cling to the past?  How can we ever move forward?

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Jesus taught about forgiveness, Matthew 18...

The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant

²¹ Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

²² Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

²³ “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. ²⁴ As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. ²⁵ Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

²⁶ “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ ²⁷ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

²⁸ “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.

²⁹ “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’

³⁰ “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. ³¹ When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.

³² “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. ³³ Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ ³⁴ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

³⁵ “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

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Jesus told the story to teach us about forgiveness.  We are the servant who owes ten thousand bags of gold.  The amount represents a debt we can not pay.  We have sinned against God and there is no way we can make it up.  God takes pity on us and forgives the debt.  He restores us to the place he intended as his children.  Then we can receive his love.  If we understand how much we are forgiven, how much God loves us, it changes us.  We have a new perspective.  God's love and Christ's spirit overflow from our hearts. 

If we harden our hearts and do not forgive people who hurt us, then we have not embraced or do not understand the depth of God's forgiveness for us.  I'm not saying that it is always easy.  We need Christ's power to do it.  Start by praying for the person and remembering that God loves him or her.  Remember he desires that none should perish. 

Also, forgiving someone does not alleviate all the consequences.  For instance, if someone continues to hurt us or someone else, we should not stay in that situation.  If a friend continually belittles us, then we should move on from the friendship.  God calls us to seek justice for those who are abused.  But we should release the anger and seek peace when possible. 

When God works the miracle of forgiveness within our hearts, we will be set free.  Free to enjoy the peace and security of a child of God!